compiled & edited by Daniel Hagadorn
Redistribution is becoming the federal government’s favorite past time.
Once upon a time, 50,000 people went to a baseball game, but sadly the game was rained out. A refund was then due.
The home team was about to mail the refund checks when Congress intervened and suggested that they send out refund amounts based on the federal government’s interpretation of “fairness.” Obviously, if the refunds were distributed based on the price each person paid for their tickets, most of the money would go to the ticket holders of the most expensive tickets. That would be unconscionable.
Therefore, in the interest of “fairness” Congress decided that…
The people in the $10 seats would be refunded $15, because they have less money to spend. Call it an “Earned Income Ticket Credit.” People “earn” it by demonstrating low ambition, few skills, and poor work habits, thus keeping them at entry-level wages.
The people in the $25 seats would be refunded $25, because that is only fair.
The people in the $50 seats would be refunded $1, because they already make a lot of money and do not need a refund. If these people can afford a $50 ticket, then they must not be paying enough taxes.
The people in the $75 luxury seats would be required to pay an additional $50, because they obviously have far too much money to spend.
The people driving by the stadium who could not afford tickets to the game would each be refunded $10—even though they did not buy tickets—because they need the most assistance.
If this story doesn’t any make sense, please contact your local Senator or Representative for further clarification.
SOURCE: Gwinnett-Online.com (7 February 2003).