compiled & edited by Daniel Hagadorn

THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER (classic version)

Once upon a time, there was an ant and a grasshopper that lived in a beautiful meadow.

The ant worked hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thought the ant a fool for working so hard while he laughed, danced, and played the summer away.

When winter came, the ant was warm and well fed, but the grasshopper had no food or shelter so he died out in the cold.

Moral of the story: Be responsible for yourself!

THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER (modern version)

Once upon a time, there was an ant and a grasshopper that lived in a beautiful meadow.

The ant worked hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thought the ant a fool for working so hard while he laughed, danced, and played the summer away.

When winter came, the shivering grasshopper called a press conference demanding to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others (like himself) were cold and starving.

MSNBC, CNBC, NBC, CBS, ABC, CNN, and FOX all showed up to film the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. America was stunned by the sharp contrast between the two insects.

How could this be, that in a country of such abundant wealth and opportunity, this poor grasshopper was allowed to suffer so?

Kermit the Frog appeared on Oprah with the grasshopper and everyone in the audience cried as they all held hands and sang, “It’s Not Easy Being Green.” Activists staged a demonstration in front of the ant’s house while the mainstream media filmed the group singing “We shall overcome.” Then one of the protesters had the group kneel down and pray to God on behalf of the grasshopper.

Politicians pontificated in media interviews that the ant had gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and called for Congress to pass an immediate tax hike on the ant to force him pay his “fair share.”

Finally, the EEOC drafted the “Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act”, retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant was fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home was confiscated by the government.

A high-profile attorney, motivated solely by the “injustice of it all”, represented the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case was tried before a panel of federal judges that were appointed because of their ability to “empathize.”

The ant lost the case.

The story ended with the grasshopper finishing the last bits of the ant’s food while the government house he lived in—which just happened to be the ant’s old house—crumbled around him because he was too lazy to maintain it.

The ant had disappeared in the snow.

The grasshopper was later found dead in a drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, was taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorized the once peaceful neighborhood.

Moral of the story: Vote for principles over party!

SOURCE: Unknown